


Secrets

by PrincessMeow1989



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Timothee Chalamet as Regulus Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:22:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27499375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessMeow1989/pseuds/PrincessMeow1989
Summary: Your secret relationship with Regulus has fallen apart. He wanted to keep you safe but is failing miserably. Now he has to decide if he wants to give up his family to be with you or walk away from the one person that has shown him love.
Relationships: Regulus Black/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

_“Please! You can’t leave me. I need you...more than you’ll ever know! It's my family...if they knew...they would hurt you.”_

_“I’m sorry, Regulus. You won’t open up to me. We have been together for a year and you won’t...You know what I’m about to say so I won’t say it.”_

Regulus’ eyes snapped open. He lay at the foot of his bed totally unsure of how he got there. The one that he was sure of, however, was he wanted to die. He wanted to pay someone to just blow him from the planet. It had been two days...of hell. Two days without seeing your smiling face. There had been no kisses, no secret cuddles, nothing. 

You had cut him off. To be fair, Regulus didn’t blame you. After six months, you had finally gotten sick of the secrecy. You had gotten sick of Regulus’ distance. 

_“Is it so wrong to want to be able to kiss my boyfriend in public? We act like strangers. Don’t you dare say it's to keep me safe from your family either! Man up and tell them no. Be like your brother for once!”_

That sentence, when it came out of your pretty little mouth sent Regulus over the edge. He had screamed at you to get away from him. Regulus felt even more ashamed that he called you a lying snake who was in love with his brother. 

**Y/n doesn’t love Sirius and you know it**

His mind added when Regulus tried his best to calm down. It just didn’t happen...and he ruined his shot with the one girl that he actually loved….

(Meanwhile) 

_If happy ever afters did exist. I would still be holding you like this. All of those fairy tales are full of it. One more stupid love song, I’ll be sick..._

You looked down at the line you wrote in your diary. The last thing that you ever wanted to think about was any kind of happy ever after. It was just a bunch of crap. Your heart was still broken over the break up with Regulus. Sure, you had started the whole mess but his icy words ruined any chance of a reconciliation. You didn’t love Sirius...well at least not like that. 

“Good morning!” 

You looked up with a frown as James came down the stairs with his obnoxiously loud happy attitude that made your head hurt. How your older brother was so chipper every day was beyond you. 

“Hi.”

You said, coldly. James had wandered over to Sirius and was trying to get a grin out of his best friend but was failing. Sirius was as annoyed and put out with James as you were in the mornings.

“Why is everyone so grumpy?”

James asked. You shook your head. The last thing that you wanted to do was tell James or Sirius about your relationship failing. Hell, they didn’t even know that you were dating Regulus. There was no point in telling them either. James would just get angry and want to fight. He would probably go after Regulus and shout at him about messing with his family. Regulus, in turn, would lose his shit. As far as Sirius, well, you didn’t know how Sirius would handle it. You had a feeling that it probably wouldn’t end well. 

“I have my reasons.” 

You muttered as Sirius raised an eyebrow. He had noticed how your normal happy mood had been a lot “less sunny” over the past two days,

“Want to come out with James and me tonight? You seem a bit put out.” 

You shook your head; not able to look at Sirius. If you looked at your friend you would see his brother and that opened a whole new can of worms. 

“No. I’m just going to stay here and get fat.” 

Sirius raised an eyebrow. 

“So who is he or was he?”

You shook your head. Haha, you were not about to fall for that one! 

“No one.”

Sirius chuckled. 

“And I was born yesterday. Look, if you don’t want to tell me....” 

“I don’t want to tell you so you don’t have to do anything.” 

Sirius’ smile fell. He had always looked at you as his own little sister. Clearly having a younger brother didn’t turn out so well so he decided to try his hand at a sister. James didn’t seem to mind sharing you so Sirius gladly took the challenge. 

“I can go kick someone’s ass. All I need is a little info and whoever he is will be a pancake.” 

You sighed and put your head in the middle of Sirius’ chest.

“No! No pancakes! Just be good...or your version of good. Can we just drop it?”

Sirius nodded, still looking unconvinced. 

“If that’s what you want. You know how to get a hold of me.” 

That night, you decided to go out with Sirius and James. After a few drinks, you were feeling much better. Dancing with Remus, you were finally starting to feel like yourself. 

“Sirius said you were a little put out earlier.” 

Remus shouted over the music. You nodded. 

“I was. I’m feeling better now. You know Remus, I don’t think that I am ever going to get married. I don’t think I need a boyfriend. I just need James, Sirius, and you. Screw Regulus.”

Remus stopped as his mouth dropped. Did you just say Regulus? Like the Regulus that he knew? The one that was standing over in the corner downing shot and shot of cheap booze? 

“Y/n, did you say Regulus?” 

Your hands came to your mouth as Regulus sauntered over clearly drunk.

“Moved on already have you?” 

You shook your head. 

“What does it matter to you? Maybe I love Remus?” 

Remus looked around awkwardly as James and Sirius stopped their drinking fest to watch the scene in front of them. 

“You love him?!” 

“Yes, I do! He’s one of my best friends and wouldn’t hurt me...like you. I don’t love you anymore! You mean big...child!” 

You snapped. Neither of you realized the awkward and confused expressions that you were getting from your friends. James and Sirius clearly had no idea what was going on and poor Remus was scratching his head. You were the last girl that he would have an affair with. You were like blood to him. 

“Hope you're happy! You took my heart and stomped on it!” 

“You’re a selfish lover!” 

You yelled back. Regulus didn’t back down until he threw his drink in the air, its contents landing on some poor witch nearby.

“To Remus Lupin!”

He shouted before staggering out of the bar to go be drunk and miserable somewhere else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to Maroon Five "Payphone" lyric that is used in Chapter 1  
> The end of Chapter 1 idea came from Timothee Chalamet in Little Women.


	2. Chapter 2

_Is there a word or right to say  
Even in this old-fashioned way?  
Go make your move, girl, I'm not coming home_

_Would things have changed if I could've stayed?  
Would you have loved me either way?  
Dressed to the blues, day to day, with my collar up_

_Decision sits, so make it quick  
A breath inhaled from an air so sick  
I cursed the day I had learned of the web you spun_

_If it was up to me  
I would've figured you out  
Way before the year clocked out  
Oh, I hope you're waiting_

_If it was up to me  
I would've never walked out  
So until the sun burns out  
Oh, I hope you're waiting_

Arriving back at James and Lily’s, you ignored the looks of worry that was on your friend’s faces. You walked to the refrigerator in search of a drink. Maybe all of you could go to bed and no one would remember what happened. 

“So are we going to talk about what happened?” 

James asked. Sirius nodded.

“Yeah, I am curious myself. Why my brother? He’s a scary dude. Well, not really scary, more like a punk but here we are.” 

You turned and gave him a frown. 

“Yeah, here we are.” 

You muttered as Remus stood up. 

“I deserve some information. Regulus Black is pissed at me. I hope voodoo dolls don't work because I will be seriously fucked!” 

You had to admit. Remus was the right one here. The poor guy was the one hell of a night! 

“Fine, Regulus and I have been dating for a while. He didn’t want to tell anyone because of the little shop of horrors that he was born into. I got sick of the secrecy and wanted an actual relationship. We had some words. I told him to man up and act more like Sirius.” 

Both Sirius and James winced. 

“Ouch.” 

Sirius said, sitting down. 

“I’m surprised he didn’t come over and threaten to kill me over that.” 

James stood just glaring at you. Lily, meanwhile, was soothingly telling him to choose his words appropriately. 

“Go ahead.” 

You said, defeated. James motioned to Sirius. 

“I thought that you two had something going on!”

Both Sirius and yourself looked at each other before saying “gross” at the same time. Sirius held a hand up. 

“She’s like my sister!” 

You nodded.

“What he said. Look, James, I love Regulus. I have for a long time but you don’t have to worry about it because he will never talk to me again now. I hope you are happy.” 

You turned and walked from the room without another word. The alcohol was beginning to wear off and you were starting to feel a lot less cocky now. You wanted nothing more than to go to your room and cry. 

The next few months were a repeat of that night. You tried to pretend that the pain of losing Regulus wasn’t there. Every day you went to your job as a ballet instructor with hopes that some magical event would cause you to stop “feeling.” If you could be a hollow shell that had no feelings, you would be ecstatic. 

Your evenings were spent being a zombie in your bedroom. Every night you promised that you weren’t going to pull out the photo of Regulus that you kept hidden in your drawer but you always did. You would stroke your finger over his well-sculpted face and sob. 

James, Sirius, and Remus were on “suicide watch.” One of them always seemed to be hovering over you. When you started crying Remus would shove chocolate at you. Sirius would give you a hug and James would run to get Lily. Lily was the one that seemed to be the most helpful. She didn’t fuss when you sobbed. She would sit and stroke your hair. Instead of trying to cheer you up or change your feelings...she listened. 

“We didn’t date long, Lily but we went through so much. Everything went downhill after I had a miscarriage.” 

Lily’s mouth dropped. That was the last thing that she had expected to hear! You were the responsible one. 

“You were pregnant?” 

“I didn’t get far.” 

You said. The memory itself was too painful to think about. Lily’s hand wrapped around yours. 

“How did Regulus react?” 

You sighed, now you had to face the memory…

_You sat on the bed in a fit of tears as Regulus paced the room. Neither of you had said a word to each other since the doctor told you that you were no longer pregnant._

_“It's for the best.”_

_Regulus said, finally. You looked up totally heartbroken. This was the coldest thing that he had said to you in the history of your relationship._

_“How can you say that?”_

_You snapped. Regulus brushed his messy curls away from his face before kneeling in front of you._

_“Y/n, we do not need a baby. We are both 18 years old. Our families don't even know about us and this war...it just isn’t smart. Things happen for a reason. Please accept it and move on. This will be just a way that we can be injured. I promise, we’ll have a family someday...just not today”_

Lily sighed as you told her the story. She knew that James had no idea about this. If he had, her husband would have gone after Regulus. James would have never accepted the fact that Regulus was so callous with your feelings. 

The next afternoon, you stood at the market. Your attention was on a magazine article that Rita Skeeter put out blasting some poor soul. 

“I need a certain kind of spice. I don’t understand why you are making me come with you. I know that you can read.” 

Your eyes widened hearing Walburga Black’s voice. Looking up, your heart instantly ached the moment that you saw Regulus and Walburga across the room. Regulus looked miserable as his mother fussed about anything that displeased her. 

My love…

You thought, trying to resist the urge to go to him. The poor thing looked exhausted. He stood looking a bit more disheveled than you had ever seen. 

“Regulus, isn’t that James Potter’s sister? She is extremely beautiful.” 

You didn’t dare lookup. The last thing that you wanted was to lock eyes with either of them. 

“Mother, you don’t like her family.” 

“Shut up. She is one of the few pureblood girls that aren’t taken.” 

You couldn't help but wonder if they thought that you were deaf. After a few moments of listening to their mid-level banter, you turned to go the other direction. The less that you had to hear Regulus’ gentle voice the better you would be. 

“Y/n Potter, excuse me.” 

You muttered “hell” under your breath before turning to face Walburga who had walked over to you. Regulus stood behind his mother looking beyond humiliated. 

“Mrs. Black, hello.” 

You said, uncomfortably. Walburga grinned. 

“You’re looking well. I have heard that you are a ballerina now. My husband took me to the show that you are in. You did well.” 

You nodded ignoring the way that Regulus was looking at you. Clearly, he had no idea that your career was moving so far forward. 

“Thank you. I’m glad that you enjoyed the show.” 

Walburga remembered the reason for her conversation in the first place. 

“This is my son, Regulus. I believe the two of you were in the same year at school.” 

You finally looked up and met your ex’s uncomfortable gaze. He muttered I’m sorry” under his breath. 

“Yes, we knew each other at school...somewhat.” 

Regulus put his head down. What you didn’t know was the guilty from the break up was eating him alive. Since that night at the bar, Regulus had been one miserable son of a bitch. All he wanted to do was sit around and do nothing but his mother made sure that wasn’t happening. She didn’t care that he was having nightmares of you dating Remus Lupin. Dating, screwing and marrying him...anything that you could possibly do with Lupin. 

Lupin would never be able to love you or care for you as you deserved. Regulus knew that he could. He had the money to give you anything that you wanted. Lupin would probably just keep you barefoot and pregnant. Regulus would have been fine with no children, however, he knew that would never be accepted. He had to have an heir. 

Now here you stood looking more lovely than ever. Everything about you made the man in Regulus go crazy! Regulus wanted nothing more than to reach over and kiss your hand. He could woo you easily and make up for all of the wrongs that he had done in the relationship. 

Walburga’s voice pulled Regulus from his thoughts.

“I’m having a party next week. My husband and I would love to have you come. We would be inclined to give a large donation to the ballet that you work for.” 

You stood, fighting the urge to laugh. When Walburga made a comment about Regulus and yourself knowing each other it took all you had not to say, 

“Yeah, we know each other but I also am best friends with your eldest son...you know the one that you forgot about?”

Walburga didn’t give you a chance to reply before putting a golden envelope in your hands. 

“The party starts at 7 pm this Thursday. We can’t wait to see you.” 

She turned and wrapped her hand around the lapel of the dark coat that Regulus was wearing. You stood with your mouth open in confusion as she tugged her youngest son along with her. 

“What the hell just happened?”


	3. Chapter 3

“You’re what?” 

James and Sirius yelled at the same time. You finished applying your red lipstick before turning to face your freaked out brother and best friend. 

“It's a good idea. I can get some information from the order.” 

Sirius was looking at you like you had gone mad. 

“You seriously want to go to one of my families _we are the best people in the universe parties?_ Y/n this is dangerous. Y/n, no information is worth that much.”

James nodded. 

“You're blinded by your infatuation for Regulus that you are willing to put yourself in danger. I am not about to let that happen! We just buried our parents three months ago. I am not about to bury you too because of Regulus Black.” 

James glanced over at Sirius and muttered, 

“Sorry.” 

Sirius rolled his eyes. 

“James is right. My brother...no man is worth risking your safety. I have an idea! Let's just get married.” 

Both James and yourself gave Sirius identical expressions of shock. 

“Yeah, we would kill each other. That would work so well.” 

You said, smacking his hand. Sirius shrugged. 

“It was just a thought. Besides, the two of you know that I am not the settling down type anyway. Y/n, back to the conversation before, please don’t go.”

A knock at the door pulled the three of you from the conversation at hand. You stood up and quickly went to answer. Your mouth dropped the moment that you saw Regulus on the other side. 

“Um, hi.”

You said as your ex met your gaze. 

“Y/n, I need to talk to you.”

James jumped up. 

“I don’t think so. If you think that your family is going to offer her to Satan...you have another thing coming!”

Regulus sighed. He was exhausted and didn’t feel like dealing with James Potter. The disdain that he felt for you brother was beyond comprehension. 

“I am not here to harm Y/n. I need to talk to all three of you.” 

James didn’t want to let the younger Black brother in his home but he also knew that Regulus was outnumbered. 

“Fine.” 

Regulus’ grey eyes flickered in your direction. You were ready for the damned party. He wanted nothing more than to grab you and not let go. 

“What do you have to say?”

Sirius asked standing up. Regulus ran a hand through his hair before turning to face you. 

“I’m talking to you. These two idiots can listen. Y/n, I can’t let you go to that party. Stay away from my family and from me. It’s in your best interest.” 

You narrowed your eyes on your lover. If he thought that you for one minute was just going to back off then he was dumber than you thought. 

“It isn’t your decision to tell me what is in my best decision.”

Regulus put his hands over his face as if he was about to break down. You automatically noted how Regulus seemed different. Your sweet quiet boy was stressed beyond measure and you hated it. 

Sirius elbowed James in the ribs and motioned him out. James wanted to argue but the expression on your face told him to go away. He only nodded before following Sirius out of the room (even though he didn’t want to). 

You waited until the kitchen door closed to wrap your arms around Regulus. He froze at first before coming apart in your arms. It took him a few seconds before he held you back. 

“Reggie, please.”

You whispered before gently pulling him to the couch. Regulus sobbed for a few moments leaving you trembling. In all of the years that you had known Regulus, you had never seen him cry. Now here he was sobbing like a baby. 

“Y/n, please. Don’t go to the party.” 

He said in a low raspy voice as he slowly sat up. You reached out and stroked a few stray curls away from his face.

“Regulus, I want you to talk to me. You owe me that much. We were in love.” 

Regulus sniffed a few times. 

“I’m still in love with you Y/n.” 

The two of you sat in silence for a moment before you reached out to intertwine your hands. 

“Tell me the truth then.”

“I’m a spy for Dumbledore. Voldemort has no idea. He still thinks that I am a loyal death eater. That is why I broke up with you. I was afraid that it would have put you in danger. After you had the miscarriage...I was...I am still so angry. I am angry about everything and my mother knows it. She knows that there was something between us. That is why I can’t let you go to that party. She is going to try to hurt both of us.” 

Your heart sank listening to his words. Deep down you knew that Walburga had some ulterior motive. You weren’t dumb enough to think that the woman actually liked you. Now that your thoughts were confirmed, you had a new worry. Regulus was a double agent. He was in worse danger than you expected! 

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, Y/n. I broke your heart and I wasn’t supposed to do that. I was supposed to make you happy, not depressed. You’ve made it well without me though. Look at you, the ballerina that you always wanted to be…” 

You pressed your lips together. 

“I could have done all of those things with you too.” 

Regulus reached out and took your hand in his. 

“If you’ll have me, I want to be a couple again. I am tired of waking up alone screaming for you. Y/n, I’ll do whatever it takes...I’ll renounce my family. Fuck them all…”

Before you could respond both James and Sirius fell through the door and onto the floor in front of you. 

“Weren't you two listening this whole time?”

Regulus snapped. Sirius jumped up off of the floor and pulled James with him. 

“So, you are about to pull a me, are you? I have to say that I am impressed. I thought that you were the good son.” 

Regulus rolled his eyes. 

“I am the good son...well, was. Trust me, brother it isn’t all that it's cracked up to be. I won’t miss mother and her abuse. She has enough money to make sure that she is taken care of.” 

James, meanwhile,was looking between Regulus and yourself. 

“So are the two of you a couple again because if so I have some conditions.” 

Regulus’ eyes flickered to James. The resentment was still clearly there. 

“I’m dating Y/n, not you.” 

James wasn’t about to back down. 

“She is my sister and I have seen her heartbroken enough by you. If you date her, no more crap.” 

You sighed.

“James, did the two of you not hear what he said in the beginning?” 

James and Sirius looked at each other and shook their heads like naughty school children who were caught planning a prank. 

“No, because I couldn’t hear over Sirius breathing.” 

Sirius gave his best friend a scowl as Regulus stood up. He unbuttoned the cuff of his black dress shirt before showing them his dark mark. You had to look away from the devastated expression on Sirius’ face. It was too much. Heartbreak and disappointment were written all over it as Regulus began to speak again. 

“I am working as a double agent for the order. I have been spying on Voldemort as a death eater for the past year and a half. That is why I broke up with Y/n in the first place. I didn’t want her to be harmed because of me. There, Potter, are you happy now?”


	4. Chapter 4

James was completely surprised by the words that came out of Regulus’ mouth. At first, he didn’t believe it. Regulus Black being a double agent. That was laughable. James honestly expected Regulus to be dead or killed off by Voldemort after the “real” got going. Regulus wasn’t brave and it would take a lot to convince James otherwise. 

Regulus wasn’t an idiot. He had picked up on James’ feelings without having to put much thought into it. From his place, by your side, Regulus scowled at James. 

“Ask Dumbledore if you don’t believe me...or don’t. Whatever you want to do, the choice is yours. Besides, your feelings don’t matter to me. I only care about Y/n. The rest of you can go kick rocks.” 

Regulus wouldn’t meet his brother’s gaze. You, yourself, had to look away from Sirius. It didn’t take you being so close to him to know that Regulus’ words hurt Sirius. You had been there when Sirius was drunk and upset over his brother. Now Regulus’ still bitter resentment toward Sirius was painfully clear. Part of you often wondered if Regulus was still angry over Sirius leaving home and this statement answered it. 

You gently slid your hand onto Regulus’. His cold eyes didn’t move to you for a moment. They were still locked on James as if daring your brother to make a move. Regulus would have been thrilled for any reason to hex your brother. He didn’t care how angry or upset that it made you. 

“Regulus, James...both of you stop. This isn’t fair to Y/n. She cares for each of you and you’ll have to find some way to deal with it.” 

Sirius said, calmly. Regulus smirked before snuggling closer to you. He kept his eyes on James in almost a cat-like manner. James shook his eyes and muttered something under his breath before suddenly looking pleased. 

“He has to get along with Remus too.” 

Regulus tensed. The anger and jealousy that he felt toward the werewolf returned like a brick to the back of the head. Regulus hadn’t forgotten that night at the bar. He hadn’t forgotten hearing you say that you loved Remus. 

“Enough, James. Regulus, come with me.” 

You stood and tugged the younger Black brother to his feet. He reluctantly followed you into your bedroom and slammed the door.

“Do you love him? The werewolf…”

Regulus said, coldly. You sighed. It was going to take some time for Regulus to let go of some of the prejudices that had been drilled into his head since childhood. 

“Remus is one of my friends. I love him as a friend. My love for you is different.”

You stood on your tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Regulus was still tense. He didn’t relax into your touch as you had hoped. Regulus kissed back but it felt extremely formal. You shook your head before resting against his shoulder. 

“Let me love you again, Regulus. I want to love you the way that you should have always been loved but you have to let me.” 

“What if I am unlovable?”

He asked. You looked up to his face again. This time the cold anger was gone and was replaced by uncertainty. You mentally cursed Walburga and Orion for the way that they chose to raise their son.

“You are not unlovable. I still love you very much.” 

“Why?”

You frowned. 

“What do you mean why?”

Regulus shrugged. 

“I’ve been so cold to you. I have treated you the way that my family would treat someone. I don’t deserve you but I’ll spend the rest of my life willing to make it up to you...even if you despise me.” 

You wrapped your arms back around him. 

“I don’t despise you, Reggie. I haven’t stopped being in love with you even with all of the bad. I want us to try again but your family can’t interfere. When you’re around them for a long time...you change. You aren’t the sweet boy that I fell in love with.”

Regulus had put his head down for a moment. You were right. When he was away from Walburga, he could be the shy quiet boy that you adored so much. With Walburga, he was a monster. 

“I meant what I said. I’m going back to say goodbye forever.” 

Your eyes winded. 

“Don’t go back alone. Let me go with you.”

Regulus shook his head. 

“I am not letting you go in that house. Stay here with your brother. As much as James and I hate each other...I know that he won’t let you be harmed.” 

You began to tremble as Regulus held you tighter.

“Please don’t go back. It won’t end well.” 

“I have some things that I have to get. If I don’t they will call me a coward for the rest of my life and I am not going to let that happen. I’ll be back by nightfall.” 

Regulus knew that going back to Grimmauld Place was going to be a bad idea. He also knew that he was going to have to face the dark lord. Regulus had already put together a grand charade about “I am working with the order to get information for you, master.” Voldemort would believe that. Regulus could only hope that his own feelings wouldn’t get in the way. He was going to have to put his family's beliefs and ideals on the back burner if he wanted to get you back. Once you were securely his, he could go back to his old ways. He only needed to get you back in the palm of his hand. 

“Reggie?”

He looked up, still hating that blasted nickname that you insisted on calling him. Your hazel eyes were full of tears. 

“Everything will be fine. Do you trust me?”

You nodded as Regulus leaned down for another kiss. This time the kiss was what you wanted. This was a Regulus Black kiss. 

Regulus was the first to break away. He put a hand to the side of your face before smiling shyly. 

“I’ll see you soon.” 

The rest of the afternoon, you were a nervous wreck. You paced the living room floor. Sirius hadn’t said much since Regulus left. He had tried to calm you down but decided that was going as well as baptizing a cat. You knew if you wanted to talk to him, he was right there. 

“Merlin, would you sit down? You are making me nervous.”

James snapped. You rounded on your brother with a frown. 

“I’m sorry but I am really worried about him.” 

James sighed, ignoring the scathing glare that Lily was giving him. He stood up and pulled you into a hug. 

“Everything is going to be okay. Regulus is a big boy and he knows how to use his magic well. You’ll be together as soon as he can get here.” 

Dinner was a silent affair. No one had really bothered saying much. It was silently agreed that mindless chatter was going to set you off. You sat quietly picking at the chicken that Lily placed in front of you. She gently patted your shoulder hoping to give you some kind of reassurance that everything would be fine. 

The sound of the door opening and closing made you jump from your seat. Running into the living room, you froze the moment that you made eye contact with Regulus. The poor boy was beaten to hell. Your hands went to cover your mouth as you fought back a scream. Both of Regulus’ eyes were bruised. Scratches littered his handsome face and blood-covered lips. 

“Is he back…”

Sirius stopped right beside you the moment that he realized what had happened. 

“Regulus?”

You managed to squeak. Regulus had been holding his chest where his mother’s foot had broken a rib. He winced wanting to speak but the pain was so severe. 

“I’m fine.”

He managed to squeak. You quickly closed the distance between the two of you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder to help him to the couch. 

“And I was born yesterday.”

You muttered before quickly unbuttoning his shirt. His chest looked like a giant purple bruise. 

“Walburga-special?”

Sirius questioned and Regulus nodded. Regulus winced in pain as your fingers gently felt over his ribs. 

“She’s broken your ribs.” 

“That isn’t the worst of it.” 

Regulus choked out. You reached out and tenderly wiped the blood from his lips as James walked into the room. He froze before meeting Sirius’ gaze. You wanted to cry looking at his normally perfect lips. Sure, you could fix him right up but this image was devastating. 

“This was the same condition that you were in when you ran away.” 

Sirius nodded, not wanting to speak. He could deal with the pain that his mother put him through but now seeing that Regulus was abused as badly made him feel horrible. Sirius had silently hoped, over the years, that since Regulus was “the good son” he would get no abuse. Clearly, that was not the case. 

Meanwhile, you tenderly stroked his face hoping to bring some comfort. 

“Do you think you can get into my room? I’ll take care of you.” 

Regulus rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t need you fussing over me, Y/n. It's just a few broken bones and after-effects of the cruciatus curse.” 

James chuckled. 

“Regulus, give it up man. She is going to be fussing over you for the rest of forever. You might as well embrace it.” 

“She makes great _feel better_ soup.” 

Sirius added. You smiled over your shoulders at your brother and friend. Regulus grumbled something about you being a pain in his ass but smiled when you kissed his nose. 

“You aren’t getting away from me this time. I’ll always be a pain in your ass.” 

20 minutes later, Regulus was snuggled in bed with his head on your lap. You stroked your fingers through his curls as he lay looking at the opposite wall. 

“How does she do her sons like this?”

You asked. Regulus snorted. 

“I’ve looked a lot worse.” 

Regulus said in an emotionless voice. This made your heartache even more. Neither he nor Sirius ever deserved something like this. 

“It's horrible. A mother is supposed to love and care for you.” 

Regulus winced as he turned to look up at you. 

“A mother is supposed to be many things. I told mother that I wasn’t coming back. I told her that I had fallen in love with you and she wasn’t keeping me from nor hurting you. She went ballistic. My father overheard and joined in the fun. He said he had already lost one son to the Potters and wasn’t about to lose another. I threatened them that if they came near you or tried to harm you there would be consequences. Let's just say my father isn’t doing so hot right now either but I couldn’t hurt my mother. Are you sure that you want a man who would hurt his own parents?”

You swallowed.

“You were protecting yourself. That’s all that matters.” 

Regulus sighed when you began stroking his hair again. 

“You know it's not over with them. I won’t let them hurt you.” 

You knew that Regulus was right on that one. One didn’t “fuck” with the Black family and expect to walk away as a winner.

“We’ll deal with them when the time comes. For now, let's just focus on getting you well.”

(meanwhile) 

Walburga was screaming as she stalked around Grimmauld Place breaking every glass object that she could get her hands on. Orion hadn’t said much since Regulus sent him crashing into a wall. 

“I don’t understand! What is it with those Potters? We have lost two sons to that family. Do they shit golden eggs?” 

Walburga snapped. Druella looked up from the drink that she had been making. 

“I don’t understand, dear.” 

Walburga sank down into a chair before sobbing violently. 

“Both of my sons have abandoned me. Was I such a horrible mother?”

Druella stood and gently patted Walurga’s now messy hair. 

“No, my darling, you are a wonderful mother. Don’t hate yourself.” 

Orion finally spoke. 

“We have given them everything that they could have wanted. Regulus, in particular. He was supposed to be our star. Now, look at him. He’s run off to be with some slut.” 

“You know that he almost had a baby with that slut, right?” 

Druella, Orion, and Walburga turned to see Bellatrix sitting in the corner. The girl smiled evilly. 

“What did you say?”

Walburga choked out. Bellatrix nodded. 

“Yes, aunty. Y/n was pregnant. Don’t know rightfully what happened. All that I know is she had a miscarriage. It's torn Regulus apart. I think it's driven him mad. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one who _took care of the problem._ Reproducing an illegitimate heir with some common harlot.” 

Walburga howled louder. This was news that she didn’t expect to hear. Druella frowned at her daughter.

“Bella, how do you know this?”

Bellatrix stood up. 

“Heard it right from the horse's mouth. Regulus was crying about it in his sleep.”

Orion looked embarrassed. The knowledge that his son almost had an illegitimate heir to the Black family fortune was enough to make him ill. 

“We have to deal with this problem. Find Regulus and the girl...bring them back here to be punished.” 

Bellatrix nodded. 

“Of course, uncle.”


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning you awoke before Regulus. You had healed most of his injuries the night before and figured letting him sleep was the best thing for him at the moment. Slipping out of bed, you went downstairs, where judging by the sound of it, Remus was back. You immediately smiled. “Best friend time” was definitely what you needed. 

Remus was on his feet the moment that you came in. 

“I was wondering where you were.”

You said, throwing your arms around his shoulders. Remus smiled, hugging you back. When he backed away, you couldn’t help but groan at the healing scars on his face and hands. 

“I swear, I should have been a healer. Sit down while I make you something to make you feel better.” 

Remus sat down, knowing better than to argue. 

“You just woke up. Wouldn't you rather have some tea first?”

You shook your head. 

“Nope, I’m going to take care of you. Figure out what injuries Regulus still has and play doctor with him than practice for the new ballet I have to do.” 

Remus’ face went white. That was the last thing that he wanted to hear. After the eventful night in the bar, Remus was convinced that the younger Black brother was out for his blood. Any time that the two men saw each other in public, Regulus seemed to have a new death glare reserved just for him. 

“Regulus?! He’s here? Since when?”

“Yeah, it's a real kick in the balls isn’t it?”

Remus, Sirius, and James all turned as Regulus stepped into the room. James gave Sirius a smirk. The quicker James got Regulus' attention away from his crazed vendetta of hating Remus the better things would be. 

“Well, you didn’t perish in the night. I knew my sister can fix people well.”

Regulus’ eyes flickered in James’ direction but went right back to Remus who was glaring at him just as coldly. Remus turned back to you in hopes of some kind of answer. When he left for his last mission, you were dead set on never forgiving Regulus. In fact, if you hexed Regulus, Remus would not have been surprised. 

Now here was Regulus Black, looking like hell, in James’ kitchen and you were acting as if nothing was new.

“Y/n?”

Remus questioned again. You finally looked up. 

“Remus, he and I are back together now.” 

Remus blinked as Regulus sat down with a shit-eating grin on his face. As much as Remus shouldn’t have been surprised by you taking Regulus back; he was. 

_This is going to be bad…_

Remus thought as you walked over and held out a small vile to him. 

“Try this one.” 

Remus sighed and downed the bottle without making a face. He had tasted a lot worse in all of his days on the planet. Whatever it was that you gave him was nothing new. 

“Remus, he makes me happy.” 

You softly commenced. Remus couldn’t help but scowl. 

“I’m sorry but can you and I talk...in there...without him?”

“Just a second. I have to take care of him too.” 

You felt bad for dismissing Remus especially when he was within moments of having a nervous breakdown but he didn’t see the shape that Regulus was in the night before. He didn’t see how broken and battered Regulus was. If he had then maybe Remus would understand.

Regulus, meanwhile, was grinning at Remus when you dismissed his request. He didn’t know why he was still so pissy with Remus. Regulus knew that Remus really hadn’t done anything. The poor guy was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and now Regulus wanted to unleash unholy hell on him. Jealous...that was the best the Regulus could come up with. He was jealous and not afraid to admit it. Remus had been your best friend since childhood. Remus was the one that you went running to when something unconvinced you. Given the nature of the secret relationship between Regulus and yourself, you weren’t able to come to him with your problems. If Regulus turned up to beat the cream cheese out of that other Slytherin boy that gave you such grief, there would have been questions. Those were questions that Regulus couldn’t answer at the time. Remus and the rest of his friends “setting the other boy straight” wasn’t anything less than expected. What if you still chose Remus over him as the one to help solve your problems? Was Regulus just supposed to sit back and watch? That wouldn’t happen…Regulus would see to that. 

“Reggie.”

You said his name gently enough to pull Regulus from his thoughts. Grey eyes rolled up to you as you reached out to touch his face. Regulus winced when your fingers traced over a few hidden bruises were. 

“Does this still hurt?”

Regulus shook his head as you moved your hand to stroke his hair. He wasn’t about to say, yes...you poking my face hurts in front of Sirius, James, and Remus. Regulus would let his arm fall off before he admitted to being in pain in front of the others. 

“You’re so difficult.” 

You hummed, as Regulus closed his eyes. Whether he would admit to it or not, the moment that you started messing with his hair the boy turned to mush in your hands. He would probably do whatever you wanted. 

“You look pretty.” 

Regulus said with a smirk when James rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t want to watch.” 

James whined. Regulus turned his attention to James before pulling you on his lap. 

“Then close your eyes.” 

Remus, meanwhile, was still off in his own world taking in everything about Regulus and yourself being a couple again. While Remus saw you as only his best friend, he still would have preferred to have been the one with you over Regulus Black. The whole idea seemed like a disaster in the making. Regulus had broken your heart once. What would stop him from doing it again? A better question was what if his mother or father came back into the picture? Surely, they wouldn’t let their child prodigy go off and marry James Potter’s younger sister. Something seemed very “off” about that picture. 

_Why wouldn’t Y/n want him_ was the bigger question Remus. Regulus was good looking and rich. Both of those were good qualities to have in a lover. Remus didn’t consider Regulus anymore clever than he considered his own self. Maybe it was the fact that he had been the Slytherin seeker and had those “dangerous” eyes? Whatever it was Remus didn’t see it and it would be bugging him for a long time! 

“Remus, do you still want to talk to me?”

Your voice pulled Remus from his thoughts. Remus was on his feet and walking out of the room before he realized what he was doing. He couldn’t help rolling his eyes when he heard you tell Regulus “I’ll be right back, love.” 

It took you two or three seconds to catch up with Remus. He had gone outside on the front stoop and was looking down the quiet street. One look at your best friend told you that he was annoyed. You knew that you should have been surprised either. It was, after all, Remus that pretty much pieced you back together after the breakup. He was the gentle one that told you that everything would be okay when Regulus was out doing god knows what with God knows whom.

“I don’t get it, Y/n. What made you take him back? You were so devastated.” 

You nodded, trying to remain calm.

“Yes, I was devastated because I love him.” 

“He changed you.”

Remus snapped. Had it been another day, any day but today, Remus would have been a lot more patient. It was too close to the moon and his patience was wearing thin for everyone, not just yourself. 

“Remus, I haven’t changed.”

Remus crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Well, since you started dating Regulus, you’ve lied to us. Hid a pregnancy that he didn’t want...none of that is Y/n Potter’s normal actions.” 

Remus knew what he said was cold. He had made a self promise that he wouldn’t bring up the miscarriage as it was an obvious source of pain. 

“Y/n, I’m sorry…”

You shook your head. 

“I didn’t tell you or James or Sirius anything because none of you asked me. I never lied. No one ever asked me if I was seeing anyone because apparently, I am too pathetic to ever gain a boyfriend. Why would someone want to date Y/n Potter? She is nothing but a nerdy bookworm that is too pathetic to ever land a boyfriend. There! Does that sum things up for you?”

Remus sighed. 

“That isn’t what I said. You were more than capable of landing a boyfriend. I just wasn’t good enough for you…”

You fought back the painful memories of the day when you had a crush on the man in front of you. Remus never reciprocated your feelings and that’s what made the whole thing painful! 

“You didn’t even give us a chance.” 

(meanwhile)

“Wonder what they are talking about?”

James questioned, as he watched both Remus and yourself throwing your arms at each other. Both of you were clearly frustrated and James couldn't tell who was winning. 

“My guess is him.”

Sirius commented, pointing at his brother. Regulus was watching the conversation that you were having with clear interest. 

“If you two would shut up then maybe we could hear and of course, they are talking about me.” 

Regulus hissed. Sirius went back down the newspaper that he was reading before throwing it down. 

“Oh, gross a spider.”

Regulus reached over and smashed the spider leaving his brother and James looking after him. Both had expressions of disgust on their faces. 

“Thanks, Reg. Just what I wanted to do...read over spider guts.”

Sirius snapped as Regulus wiped his hand on his brother’s arm. James had gone back to trying to figure out what was going on. 

“Would you two stop bitching? I can’t hear.” 

Before Sirius could make a comment about how he didn’t ask for Regulus to smash the spider, you came back inside looking even more annoyed. You didn’t come back into the kitchen but stormed up the stairs and slammed your bedroom door. 

James winced as he went to make a new cup of tea. 

“Good luck, Regulus. Go find out what happened.”

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1: Credit to Maroon Five "Payphone" lyric that is used in Chapter 1  
> The end of Chapter 1 idea came from Timothee Chalamet in Little Women.
> 
> Chapter 2: The Suffering by Coheed and Cambria


End file.
